watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
