it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
The adults are the big ones right?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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