I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
