He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
