Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
