six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
