You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
