sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
