So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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