He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
