so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
