I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Just pee around me
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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