So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I need to stop coming to work sober
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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