The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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