Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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