my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
