I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
