Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
