Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
