we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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