I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize