FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
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