I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize