I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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