apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
