Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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