Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
