i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
