there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
