I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Can I color on your dick again?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize