my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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