the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
