Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
What drink are we having for lunch?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
