brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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