I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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