i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
