My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
