Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
