Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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