I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize