You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
