I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
