nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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