I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
