dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
