seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
