The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize