I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
