The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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