Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
