If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
