Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
