ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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